Wikipedia Wednesday: Military Dolphins

One of the things you'll come to know about me is that I think dolphins are really cool. In fact, I'll probably write a whole post, some time in the future, explaining why I think Douglas Adams was right when he said that dolphins are more intelligent than humans. However, today I'll be covering a much more eerie aspect of Delphinidae life.

Military Dolphins!

So, for at least 20 years, the U.S. Military has been training dolphins (and sea lions) to carry out some, at first basic, and later more complicated tasks. They found that dolphins' biosonar (and sea lions' excellent eyesight) made them very adept at locating underwater mines and enemy divers. Of course, if an enemy diver did see one of these cetacean operatives, they would just see them as a curious marine animal.

Here's the really crazy part: According to the Wikipedia article on Bottlenose Dolphins (under Interaction with Humans), "Navy scientists fit the dolphins with equipment that amplify their natural sonar pulses, and relay the information back to Navy Intelligence. The equipment strengthens the dolphin's sonar burst; giving the dolphin enhanced scouting abilities, and can even allow it to inflict damage on medium density materials such as low-grade steel, carbon-plating, and wood."

I just hope to God we keep a close eye on these underwater agents. I heard about this one dolphin who, probably like many of his brethren, was faster than lightening and also that no one, you see, was smarter than he. I don't want that coming to get me in the middle of the night.

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The Mighty Mos Def at the 9:30 Club

Concert reviews are not something I envisioned for this blog, but this one is worth it, and maybe it'll become a regular fixture.

Last night my roommate, Chris, and I traveled to northwest Washington, D.C. in order to attend a Mos Def concert at the 9:30 Club.

The opening act was a hip hop artist out of Philadelphia named Hezekiah. He was pretty good and didn't make us wait too long for him to finish. Unfortunately, after Hezekiah finished his short set, we had to wait upwards of 90 minutes for Mos Def to arrive, due to his flight being delayed. When the rather lame 9:30 Club MC announced this, I was skeptical. However, Mos Def later called attention to his boarding pass which he had left in his pocket, and all (or most) was forgiven. Needless to say, after approximately three hours of standing, we were all ready to rock.

First, let me say that if you haven't heard much or any Mos Def before, you're missing out. Mos Def is a rare breed of performer. A rapper, an actor, and a poet, Mos Def is part of the "socially conscious hip hop" movement. I don't know how he feels about this term, but I feel that it makes it seem too exceptional, although it does draw attention to how far mainstream rap has fallen.

Mos Def's set was, for lack of a less pretentious word, sublime. The fun he has doing what he loves is infectious. His live lyrical style alternates between goofy and profound; reverent and irreverent. After his first or second song, Mos Def turned to his DJ and asked him to find some Chuck Brown, showing the D.C. crowd that he knew his Go-go as well. Several songs later, the funk-inspired strains of the proto-Go-go* song "Bustin' Loose" came through the speakers as MD riffed over it. Later, during a transition into a new song, Mos Def revisited this style while sampling "Get Out Of My Life, Woman" as performed by Joe Williams followed by "I Got a Woman" by Ray Charles. For the very last song, off his upcoming album The Ecstatic, MD showed off his musical talent by starting his lyrics right on the first beat, a rare occurrence in rap and hip hop.

*This sounds like an indie album title.

In the end, Mos Def made it clear that he was very grateful for our patience and he seemed genuinely sorry that the show had to be shorter than expected due to the late start. I had been standing, at this point, for about five hours, my back and ankles were screaming at me, and I needed to pee pretty badly, but when I was standing there, a mere twenty feet from this genius of hip hop, I probably could have put up with it for another hour at least. Definitely a good night.

Professors' Delusions Seen as Causing Grade Disputes

Normally, I won't be posting twice in one day, but this article from the New York Times caught my eye and my ire, and I couldn't resist.

As the child of a professor, I have been keenly aware of the song-and-dance surrounding grades in college for years. Mere hours after fall semester grades are released (usually when we are on a New Year's vacation) my mom will receive at least one, if not many, requests from students asking to talk about their grade (for those who don't know, that's code for "how can I convince you to give me a better grade"). However, I am also currently enrolled at University of Maryland, Baltimore County, and know well the myriad of reasons a student might expect a higher grade. In this sense, I have a unique (read: superior) point of view on the matter.

The thing that set me off was Professor Marshall Grossman's comments in the beginning of the article. Let me be blunt so my ideas aren't misconstrued: If you think that a C is an average grade, you need to remove your head from your ass. Sure, we all remember the key in the corner of our grade school report cards (A = Outstanding, B = Above Average, C = Average, D = Below Average, E/F = Fail), but even a cursory analysis reveals this to be a steaming pile of horse shit.

The biggest problem is this: When is the last time you thought of a C-average (a 2.0) as acceptable? Which leads me to the second problem: If you think a C-average is acceptable, you definitely didn't go to Law School, Med School, etc. When has any post-secondary school ever seen a 2.0 as enough? If Prof. Grossman wants to crusade about the purity of the grading scale on his own time, that's his business, but in the meantime, he's putting students' futures in jeopardy.

The other thing that set me off (once I cooled down enough to read the rest of the article) was the litany of quotes from various professors and deans who, apparently, never went to college themselves. Here were a couple that stuck out:

"[Dean Hogge] said that if students developed a genuine interest in their field, grades would take a back seat, and holistic and intrinsically motivated learning could take place."

Sure, in a perfect world we'd all just sit around, get high, and expand the shit out of our minds, but as long as employers, grad schools, parents and the students themselves care about the quality of the learning that, supposedly, takes place, grades will never take a back seat.

Professor Brower said professors at Wisconsin emphasized that students must “read for knowledge and write with the goal of exploring ideas.”

Has this guy ever been to school? For some reason that needs to be researched, assigned reading is never as fun as reading for pleasure. Also, exploratory writing papers are few and far between. In the real world there are expectations meant to prove that you've done the reading, done the homework, been to class, etc.

Let me be very clear. I don't deny that grade inflation is a problem. On a five point scale, a two/C should be average. However, to say that students expect higher grades because they feel "entitled" to them demeans students. Students aren't that dumb (although they can be). Even if they don't know the reason, they expect B's and A's because they know others do too.

Wikipedia Wednesday: Bloop

About a week ago, my mom lamented/suggested that somebody in the blogosphere should write about interesting stuff they find on Wikipedia. Clearly, this comes from her knowledge of my fondness for Wikipedia and my propensity for wasting hours of my time article-hopping. To this end I am instituting Wikipedia Wednesdays here at Gratis & Libre. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep it up every week, but we'll see how it goes.

To kick off this new feature, I've chosen one of my old favorites: Bloop.

"Bloop" is, perhaps, a cryptid, that is a mysterious, possibly mythical, animal like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. In reality, all we know is that it is an "ultra-low frequency underwater sound" detected by NOAA in the southern Pacific Ocean during the summer of 1997. It lasted about a minute and was loud enough to be detected over 5,000 km (3,100 miles) away. The few people who have studied the phenomenon have said that it most likely originated from something organic (i.e. not a submarine), but that an animal that could produce such a loud and low sound would have to be many times larger than a blue whale.

The Wikipedia article has a link at the bottom which leads you to the NOAA "Bloop" website which used to have the original recording, which turns out to be rather eerie at its normal speed. Unfortunately, they just have just have the version that's been sped up 16 times, but it's still better than the one second clip in the article. The only problem being that the sped up version isn't nearly as low...it sounds like a "bloop".

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Persense

One of the recurring themes of this blog will be posts which are, ultimately, my attempt at achieving immortality by establishing my part in the coining of a new term which, with a little luck, will become part of our spoken language. Much of these will come with help from my awesome roommates, shown here, for reference, in an awkward yet epic picture.


Persense

This word was coined sometime around October of 2008, and most of the credit for its invention goes to my roommate, Chris Cahoon (bottom middle of the above picture). Basically, it was in reaction to the lack of accuracy in the word "sense". For instance, when someone proffers a story, fact, or suggestion of questionable quality you might be compelled to say "Whoa man! That makes no sense." The quality of the remark remains unevaluated except with the seldom used qualifiers as in "zero sense", "almost no sense" and "complete sense". To make matters worse, suggestions or stories aren't totally without merit, but rather are simply not feasible, relevant, responsible, etc.

In order to rectify this bothersome situation, we have adopted the term "persense". Here is how to use it:

per·sense - noun - a part of complete, cogent, sound and practical judgement.

Example:

"This semester, I want to be less stressed. I'm just gonna party and drink and hook up with chicks."

"What about your classes?"

"Well, I'll probably hang on to my grades just enough that I can salvage them enough to pass in the last three weeks."

"Dude, that makes, at most, 5 persense."


You see, in this example, the idea is not totally without redeeming merit or backing evidence. Indeed, many college students attempt this lifestyle every semester, and many of them succeed. However, the conceit that this will relieve stress is, at best, wildly optimistic. Whether you are vaguely stressed throughout the semester or are overwhelmed with work at the end, the net amount stress remains largely the same. (More on the Conservation of Stress in a future post.)

The "persense" of any given scenario is dependent upon the opinions of the user and is, thus, quite subjective. However, to arrive at the number used in the example Chris and I discussed two major factors; (1) the actual persense of the scenario and (2) the success rate of such a plan. We felt that, objectively, this plan made about 2%s (the symbol for persense), but multiplied by an estimated 50% success rate for the average student, we arrived at a rating of 1 persense. Therefore, although it is a subjective term, it is important that the user can back up their claim, preferably with subjective figures and confusing math.

Here's the fun part. Start using "persense" in your daily life. It isn't hard to explain because it makes, at least, 95 persense. In five, ten, maybe twenty years maybe it'll make it into common parlance, or even become Webster's Word of the Year like "truthiness" did.

Autobiography -- Part 2

We've got a lot to gloss over, so let's get right into it...

Chapter 3 -- High School: In a Word, Huh?

What can I say about my high school experience that hasn't already been said about cheap beer? Fun, intoxicating, a danger to brain cells, makes you feel like you're being smooth with the ladies when you're really just being creepy. You know the deal. Truth be told, I had a lot of fun in high school, especially near the end. High school was probably the pinnacle for my abilities to impress high school girls' mothers. During this time I...

...witnessed the election of George W. Bush and just barely cared.
...did poorly in classes until the last few weeks when I would pull out a B.

...represented my school three times on NBC's It's Academic.

...was really creeped out by Mac McGarry (a man who both interviewed me and covered Truman's inauguration).
...spent the better part of three weeks getting sick from the wrong kind of medication.
...which resulted in me spending five days in the hospital due to my ulcerative colitis.
...looked like a skeleton much of the time (or the 'wrath of God' as my grandmother would have had it).

High school was good times. I had a reputation as seeming a lot older (think 30 years or so) than I actually was (the term "crotchety" comes to mind). Through the filter of self-delusion, I like to see it as praise for being so mature. In retrospect, of course, I was extremely immature; a fact that presents absolutely no contradictions with the previous point.

Chapter 4 -- Frostburg, Catonsville, and Beyond

The last five years seem like a blur. They had a lot of ups and downs and I spent a lot of that time deeply mired in the present, but the reason, I think, it seems like a blur is because of the amazing amount of growth that's taken place in that time. Periods of idleness fueled subsequent periods of drastic change and the taking on (on-taking?) of ridiculous amounts of responsibility. Clearly, I'm still trying to find balance. Analysis will have to wait for another post, because there's far too much to cover here, but I'm sure another list will help. During this time I...

...traveled to more states and provinces than I care to mention.
...did the whole long-distance relationship thing (totally worth it; I would never do it again).
...lived on campus (in Frostburg).
...got my first straight A report card since, at least, middle school.
...lived off campus (in Catonsville).
...lived with my gracious parents.
...began training capoeira.
...lived on campus with strangers.
...joined the UMBC Ultimate team.
...live on campus with three Ultimate players.
...started this blog.
...made this list.

The End -- Only Not

Alright, folks. I'm bored with this idea, so I imagine you've been bored with it since Chapter 1, since no one is a bigger me-dork than I am. Next week, I'll start posting some (hopefully) more interesting stuff and start unveiling (that's right) some recurring theme's for this blog.

Autobiography -- Part 1

As promised, the first thing to go up here will be something of an autobiography. Hopefully this will help frame my opinions in the future and help me to start exploring the writing style for this blog. Due to the length, it's been broken up into two parts, but even so I'll try to skip over (or embellish) the more boring parts.

Prologue -- The Measure of a Man

In the year nineteen hundred and eighty-six, on the twentieth day of November, in a suburb of Washington, D.C., while the show Taxi was on, Daniel John Paoletti was born to Jo B. Paoletti, a professor at the University of Maryland and James J. Paoletti, a carpenter who was, at that time, employed by former department store giant Woodward & Lothrop. The name 'Daniel' (meaning "God is my judge" in Hebrew) had been carefully selected as an obvious compromise between two warring proposals; Bruno and Paul (a story for another day). Truly, it had been fate, for from these humble beginnings would arise a man who would be above the judgment of all save The Almighty, Himself. (No one should have this much fun typing.)

Chapter 1 -- The Early Years

To begin, I grew up in Prince George's County, Maryland, about 5 miles from D.C. After a four or five year period in which I explored the philosophies and and social networks of Greenwood Nursery School, I began an elementary school experience which was as idyllic and innocent as any other. During this time I...

...played soccer, baseball, and basketball (all poorly).
...traveled to Sweden.
...cried at the end of Jack.
...began playing the alto saxophone.
...felt more awkward than I ever have since.

Chapter 2 -- Beauty and King Dork?

As with many children, middle school was a confusing mix of hell and things that just barely made it all worth it. This was when I started to become interested in learning for its own sake and yet not using this interest to get better grades. This is also the period in which I developed ulcerative colitis, something which has affected me in a big way ever since (another story for another another day). During this time I...

...played soccer (better now).
...got a few bad grades.
...cared about getting bad grades in a visceral way.
...got picked on regularly for being skinny and white (an affliction I carry to this day).
...continued playing the alto saxophone.
...began playing the baritone saxophone in Jazz Band.
...was oblivious to the affections of the few girls who had crushes on me.
...had my first girlfriend (this does not contradict the previous point).
...lost my first girlfriend two weeks later.


That's enough for now. Stay tuned for the next exciting installment...

Danny's High School and College Experiences:

Love, Italo-Germanic-American Style OR
Religiously Liberal: The Buck Stops Here!

Gratis and Libre Inaugural Post

Alright folks! It's taken me a very long time to get this here blog started. Most (read: all) of the preparatory work has been trying to find a name and URL that satisfied my vision of what I want this blog to be. So, as an introduction, let me explain...


The Title - Gratis and Libre

This is pretty simple and comes from the expression "gratis versus libre" which is commonly invoked in the discussion of the open source movement, which I am a big fan of. You can read more about it here, but here's the simple version: gratis means "for zero price" and libre means "freedom". So, in this context, people in the open source movement often simplify it to the rather witty and convenient phrases "free as in beer" and "free as in speech", respectively.

As I said, I'm a big fan of this movement, and I'm sure I'll be using this blog to talk (read: rant) about it in the future.


The URL - Dear GloboChem

This is more silly, but might carry more meaning for this blog, though maybe I don't know how yet. This comes from a Mr. Show sketch (alas, it isn't on YouTube) wherein David Cross writes a couple of letters to Mr. Show's catch-all big evil corporation, GloboChem. In the first he expresses dissatisfaction with some product he bought from them and requests that they send him "as many free products as possible" in compensation. In the second, he has just received a death threat from Bob Odenkirk (for not having replied to his letters) and writes

Dear GloboChem,

Someone is trying to kill me! Please send me as many free products as possible.

Love,
David Cross

Hilarity. Relevance. Ripped from today's headlines.

So, this is what this blog will be. Me talking about things that interest me, ranting about things that piss me off, and generally dicking around in the blogosphere, blogocube, and blogodrome with about a million links to Wikipedia as reference (more on that later). Subsequent posts will be, without a doubt, much more well put together than this one -- I was just too excited to get started.

The next couple posts will include something like an autobiography and my first substantive post which will probably be on some of the things I've been learning and thinking about in my Gender and Inequality class.